Oh Drow

Because of lack of volunteers, I grabbed a few drow and put them in the front of the dragon with huge fire power. And because drow are exlusive RPG characters with the level of 20000000 (yea, they actually have TOGETHER one point of experience but who really cares?) they are plotting how to fight dragon without to much pain.

PART ONE. WE SEE THE DRAGON. LET'S RUN.

Quarrice: I suppose to shut myself up but do you see what I see? Right now? Before our shameless experienced faces?
Falang: This is dragon. Bigger than our ego. Do you think Ramsay is so cruel and order us to fight him? If yes, I am not Falang and I am running. Do you see? Running. I am drow but I am running. Hey, is someone listen to me?
Hilli: Ramsay, dear, can you give us somebody to help? Maybe we are powerful in our minds and in your glorious stories about us but you have put us here without weapons, without any defence items and even without spells!
Ramsay: If we are talking about spells! YEAH! I will give you somebody who knows magic as his own soul!
Hilli: Thank you, you are angel! I hope this will be a powerful wizard who will throw a ball of electric fire on the dragon and the blasphemous beast will die in one second.
Ramsay: Something like this. Here you have!
A little noise and before drow appears a little boy with a scar on his forehead. Scar? In lightning shape?
Boy: Hello, everyone! My name is Harry Potter and...
Quarrice: Take this amateur right away or I will NEVER make even a cameo role in your books!
Harry Potter is vanishing. And something start happening. Dragon is going straight away on our heroes (of might and magic).
Drow together: RUN!!!!


PART TWO. WE MUST MAKE SOME GOOD IDEA TO KILL THIS MONSTER.

Falang: Ok, girls. Maybe we run in the front of dragon screaming and screaming and we will frighten the cruel animal to death?
Hilli: Stupid idea. Dragon will fry you before you start screaming. And how do you think he will react even if he won't make a barbecoue? Oh, a mighty drow with level 0.04 is screaming his lungs out. Yes, this is terrifying. I am really stunned, Fal. Your ideas are priceless.
Falang: Do it better!
Hilli: Maybe Harry Potter...
Quarrice: And maybe Remus Lupin will change himself in werewolf and bite dragon in his scaled foot.
Ramsay: This would be a good idea, if these scales...I made them harder than usually to make the story more funny.
Quarrice: More funny. Do you think in proper way?! This monster will kill us in our beautiful age of youth! All my beauty will gone!
Falang: Worse! Your beauty has gone already!
Quarrice is throwing herself with full body on Fal and starts beating him with fists.
Hilli: Why not with dagger...?
Quarrice: Becouse mighty Ramsay didn't give us any sharp devices!
Ramsay (laughing): Maybe knife to the bread?
Hilli: Yes! A knife to the bread will be better than fists.
Falang: Ou, yes, we will scratch dragon a little and make him cry.
Quarrice: We haven't any good ideas. We give up.


PART THREE. DRAGON IS RUSHING.

Dragon - a female not male, but our drow don't know that - is intelligent and powerful creature that doesn't intend to eat these little drow. Her (dragon's) experience is higher than we can imagine. She encountered a many opponents and now she is powerful beyond anything. So why she is rushing on this little group of dark elves?
Because she wants fun.


PART FOUR. DROW WANT A HARRY POTTER.

Hilli: Okey, guys. Lolth wouldn't be pleased but I give up. Ramsay, give us this Harry Potter or Remus Lupin or whatever. But they should have wands!
Quarrice: You are all crazy! Lolth will be furious! These are copyrighted characters of Rowling and if Ramsay won't put this damn story to fanart, we will have a barbecoue faster than dragon will approach us!
Falang: Harrry...Harry.., where are youuuu!
Ramsay: So, let the slaughter begins!
Harry Potter and Remus Lupin appear near drow and start talking.
Harry: Professor Lupin, I need my broom.
Lupin: You need only a spell that make your broom fly here.
Quarrice: Exuse moi but in this stupid RPG-ish story your spells are more crappy than we in our experienced glory. You must use some...local spell, like Alohomora. This will open the dragon belly and we all be happy!
Falang: Oh, please...
Hilli: In the name of Lolth, I beg of you all. Stop talk jabberish and make something with this dragon. He is close to eat us!
Harry: ALOHOMORA!
Dragon laughts and takes Potter in her hands (yes, this is very manual dragon) and throw him away.
Lupin: Harry!
Dragon: Harry is no more.
Drow together: Dragon is talking!


PART FIVE. THIS IS A GOOD DRAGON.

Ramsay: Please, Morry, kill these unexperienced drow of doom, because I want to write one story without them.
Quarrice: What? You did it for purpose?!
Falang: You are cruel more than this talking dragon.
Dragon (Morry): I won't kill them because they are funny. Except this copyrighted Lupin. Take him away!
Lupin is vanishing.
Hilli: Now you must pay for everything you have done to us. Ramsay, you must write a huge book about our team and make us as powerful as ever.
Ramsay: Maybe. But now I am going to write your descriptions so be silent and play with Morry. She likes when you scratch her nose.



So, as you can see, RPG characters are pain in the arse and it is difficult to cope with them.

Quarrice: Yes, we are pain in the Ramsay's arse. Beware us. We can bite your copyrighted...
Falang: ...body.